FAMILY FEVER
Morning, Bunny.
Alina used up my shower gel!
Now I have to use this girly stuff again.
-Here. -I don't want that! Go away.
Have you seen a doctor? About your knee?
Next week. I haven't had time.
I got this ointment.
Where did you get it?
From the pharmacy. Where else would I get it?
-Morning. -Oh, the princess has risen.
-Do you need your cell phone at breakfast? -I need to write something.
Yes, but we're eating.
I'll be finished in a sec.
Your daughter.
You still have to tell us the address and when we need to be there.
"When we need to be there." What sort of event is it anyway?
We already talked about it on Monday.
Tell me again. I didn't quite get it.
You're meeting my boyfriend's parents.
"All nervous regulating fields are harmoniously balanced..."
Honeybun?
-I'm going to work, alright? -Yeah.
-Yeah. Bye. -Look at me...
God, you have beautiful eyes.
Shall I bring you anything?
-Orange juice. -Done.
"The essential commonality of active relaxation..."
-Yes? Hello! -What?
Yes.
I was wondering when you'll be home? I cooked...
that Indian dish you like.
Listen, I'm loaded down with so much work today.
I haven't finished.
Do it on Monday, so we can eat together.
I have to finish the accounting by the weekend. I can't postpone it.
Sorry. I didn't know you were cooking.
OK, then I'll pack some for the drive.
Great, then pick me up from the station.
Then Mario can have some as well, maybe.
Yeah, that's good. Pick me up at the station.
-OK. -Yeah, bye!
Shit.
CHAPTER 1: ROUTINE
Any idea how to proceed now?
Somehow?
No idea.
Hello. About tonight...
We're all set, right? 7 o'clock.
Yes.
It'll be great.
Just tell them the truth,
then nothing can go wrong.
You'll tell the truth anyway, everything's cool.
-You can do it. -I don't know.
You don't know my Dad and my Mom, and...
It'll be cool to meet them.
It'll be awesome. We're both prepared for it.
Yeah, we'll manage. OK. Bye.
See you later. Bye.
We have to hurry a little. I have an appointment afterwards.
Yeah.
We're invited for dinner, in Brandenburg.
What are you doing there?
-To the countryside. -Just like that?
To Alina's boyfriend's parents.
-That's nice, isn't it? -It's too early to say.
This damn wind! Bugs the hell out of me.
Shit!
This job
is for morons!
You know how I feel sometimes?
-Nope. -Like those people.
Some go this way, some go that way.
No goal. I feel like everyone else.
I'm totally average.
Except that I put up billboards, a shitty job!
My wife has no reason to say: "My husband is a great guy."
-It's always like that. -Nonsense.
You think the bus driver's wife is proud?
Or the cop's wife?
I think we're better than average.
You should talk to your boss!
This can't go on every Friday, with you working so late.
Are you going to the dinner with those clothes on?
Do you have any spare clothes?
I'll go like this.
Up to you.
-Is it a masked ball, or what? -No, it isn't.
You could just wear something more decent.
What's not decent about this? It's my work clothes.
-You're wearing your work clothes too. -Alright.
-What's bugging you now? -You didn't get dressed properly!
These are normal pants, and this is a normal shirt.
What will they think of us?
End of work is 3 pm.
You have to talk to your boss!
-Yeah, I will. -But when?
I've heard it all before.
Just like the young lady!
Does nothing for school! Just chatting on the mobile non-stop.
What's this about?
-Leave him some space. -Watch it! How about a turn signal!
She's gonna crash into it. Unbelievable!
She doesn't care.
-Watch out, red light. -Just like your boss!
That's the kind of people... They just bump into you, don't even care.
That lady keeps people at work till 5 pm, too.
I'm stupid, I'm not refined. That's easily said.
Three years ago I got laid off. After that my tone changed at home.
Yes.
-Uwe and I, we're OK. -Nonsense!
Totally fine.
-Really? -Yeah.
Then why did you get involved with me then?
Excuse me, which way is Stülpe?
-Two more villages. -Pardon?
Go through Schöneweide,
through Gottow then left to Stülpe, I mean, Schönefeld.
And after Schönefeld, turn right and you'll get to Stülpe.
-I see. -So it's the next right?
No. Through Scharfenbrück, Schöneweide, Gottow.
Left after Gottow.
Then in Schönefeld, up to the right to Stülpe.
-OK. -I don't get it.
-Left at Gottleben. -Got it now, right?
Thanks a lot. Bye.
You have this boyfriend there and you don't know where it is?
Gottleben, then left. It's not that hard.
Left.
-Schönefeld. -That's what the lady said.
Schönefeld, then right.
Or did she say Schöneweide?
Same situation here. Left or right?
You have to go back. The little driveway there.
-We drove past it? -Yes, it was at the cows.
"At the cows!" Can you speak when I drive by it?
"At the cows!"
Advanced placement German!
You don't pay for the gas. You just enjoy the ride, right?
A bit of nail polish, fiddling on your phone.
Next holidays, young lady, you have to do a summer job!
You can hand over 50 euros a month.
-Here. Left! -In here?
-Yes. -Are you sure?
Yes, totally sure.
Not the best road.
And straight through.
Is this the museum of natural science?
-The road stops there. -But this is where it is.
This is a castle!
-Just tell me where it is! -This is the house.
You're kidding.
I don't believe it. What sort of boyfriend do you have?
I told you it's a big house.
That's not a big house, that's a giant bunker.
-Look at my clothes! -That's your fault.
You could've told me what this is. You could've brought a postcard.
But we're going...?
-Why are you driving away? -I'm not parking this shabby car here.
You should have told me, young lady. You have a lot of nerve!
Look at my clothes!
It's a big house to me, not a castle!
Turn around!
Is that a big house?
-Well, it's... -It's not a big house!
Come on, then we'll get out here!
-What about me? -You catch up.
-See you in a minute, Dad. -"See you in a minute..."
Incredible. No one would believe it.
What are you staring at?
That's Nico's father.
-Hello. -Hello.
This is my mother, Maja.
-I'm going upstairs, OK? -Yes.
Hi.
-Everything alright? -Yes. Come in!
-What are you doing here? -Well...
I didn't know that your son and my daughter are going out.
You never told me.
CHAPTER 2: SECRETS
-My mother's here. -Hi!
Oh, you're here already.
Hi.
OK, just come in.
-Can't change it now. -Great evening this will be.
My wife.
-Ohnsorg. -Roth.
-Where is your husband? -Oh, he's parking the car...
-Something to drink? -Orange juice.
And you?
Water.
-What's with you? -I'm happy.
-About what? I mean, that much? -Nonsense. Everything's fine.
I have to calm down a bit.
-Stefan, where's the orange juice? -Should be there.
-It's not here. -Look closer.
You look closer! I don't know where you put it.
Then bring some water.
Such a fuss about the orange juice!
Are you alright?
Hello.
Hi.
Can I help you?
Could it be that you are our guest? I think so.
-You are Nico's father. -Yes, Stefan Ohnsorg.
-Hello. Uwe Roth. -Nice to meet you.
Was just trimming my beard.
-One wants to look well-tended. -Not necessary.
-I was painting at home. -Yes.
My painting clothes.
Something wrong?
No? Everything's fine?
My daughter is 17.
My son is 19.
Should I put him on a leash next time?
This morning I didn't know we were going to a castle.
This morning I didn't know you were coming.
I didn't even know my son is dating your daughter.
I thought he's with a blond girl.
But...
But... I'm glad you're here.
Same here.
Great eyes.
-Thank you. -Steel blue eyes.
Could these eyes lie?
We lucked out.
20 meters then sharp left.
Watch out, potholes.
Come in.
This is unbelievable!
Let's go in here. The blue parlor.
Sometimes there's music at our piano.
The furniture is mostly Baroque...
You can leave your shoes on!
-But it's all... -Don't be silly.
For heaven's sake, I don't want to...
-Please... -Mr. Ohnesorg, please.
-Ohn... without the E. -Mr. Ohnsorg, please my boots.
I can't imagine anything like this...
-Crazy, isn't it? -Yes.
This is as big as...
our kitchen, living room and Alina's room together.
And perhaps the bedroom.
The house was for sale for six years,
pretty run-down and
I never thought we'd get it in shape like this.
To refinance it, we rent it out to these movie weirdos.
Open the door.
-It's all a facade. -Really?
The desk is real.
"Do you want total..."
Is Nico always at your home? Alina was here only once.
They've been going out for three months, right?
Alina hasn't told me. I don't know where they usually meet.
-Nico was over once, but I wasn't there. -Once? Alina was only here once too.
Oh my God. We probably don't want to know...
This lady's got her legs spread pretty wide.
She looks ripe for the picking.
How long have you been together?
Oh, forever. I've lost count. Twenty years?
How long have you been married?
Seventeen years.
Oh! Now it's getting formal.
Yes, thank you for coming tonight.
We think that after three months it's time for a family get-together.
-We've cooked something tasty for you... -I've been waiting for that!
Yeah, and...
Alina wants to say something.
Thank you Birgit, Stefan, for having us here...
Thanks for making the dessert!
Mom and Dad, thanks for driving us here.
I'm very happy.
We'll go get dinner, right?
-Yes. -Alright.
Your daughter is so confident.
Why didn't you say anything?
Are you coming?
-They do their own posters. -Oh, not an actress?
No.
They do set design. Plays. It's a school project.
One person does lighting, the other sound. They do it all.
Here you are.
-What the hell is this? -Pasta with pesto.
-Is that the entrée? -Looks like a complicated composition.
I don't think you're ready to start a family!
-Smells like in an Italian restaurant. -Smells great!
The Parmesan looks like Granny's calluses.
Uwe, stop!
I'm just kidding.
-Alina, since when do I drink white wine? -Just offering.
Cheers.
-My son. -Cheers, Dad.
Alina.
Really nice!
We'll take up those piano lessons again. I'll take care of it.
Oh, the witching hour!
Complete power outage.
I can't see anything.
Alina, you can give it a rest now.
My daughter!
Thank you very much. It was really yummy.
Was a nice evening. Come on, Uwe!
Goodbye!
Bye.
-Come on, I want to get out of here. -I'm trying, Maja. You know this car.
I don't believe it!
CHAPTER 3: FEVER
What do we do now?
You can sleep here.
-I didn't bring anything. -No problem. What else can you do?
Call a tow truck, at this hour?
You'll sleep here, of course.
-Maja? -It's decided, you're sleeping here.
Alright, we'll stay.
Great.
Birgit, is there any dessert left over?
-I think so. -I'll have another bowl.
-Shall I carry your bag? -No, thanks.
Not here. Stop it.
No!
Cut it out. Go inside.
Stefan.
Uwe.
It's nice here. It's really, really nice.
Shall I tell you something?
What?
Alina won't do what I say.
My wife won't do what I say.
My car won't do what I say and my vacuum cleaner won't either.
I think my wife's cheating on me.
"And here, poor fool, I sit once more..."
Cheersies.
Stefan.
Maja, I have a present.
Hello! It's a deer-lady...
and a deer-deer.
It's a copperplate from the 18th century.
This bed is 250 years old,
and Napoleon carved it while passing through...
But seriously now... I have to puke. I need water.
I can't explain it, but as soon as I walked into your house...
something cracked.
The feeling is gone.
I think I have to tell Uwe everything.
I can't leave before I do.
We couldn't have carried on like this anyway.
Right?
Yeah, sure.
-Man! -Morning.
You really scared me.
Need a sweater?
Now, I'll wash it out.
Come on, take it off. It's way too hot.
Free yourself up.
You've got some extra pounds. I've put on some too, but... Huh?
Yeah, yeah, Stefan.
-How do you do it all? -What?
This.
-You can too! -Yeah, right... Don't bullshit me!
Doesn't matter. You just get the money flowing.
Here you are.
She loves me, she loves me not.
Come on, it'll be fine.
Come on. Let's get breakfast!
I don't know if I can do it. If I can take it.
I'll have all the responsibility.
For nine months, and that's just the beginning.
I can't manage.
You won't be alone.
-You think I'll take off? -No, but...
I can't even handle things now. And a baby? Now?
You're not sure about the baby. You're not sure about us.
-Are you sure you even love me? -Of course!
Right.
What should I say? I can't see the future.
Easy!
You're a fine horsie!
Uwe!
Stefan.
The next question is in the category Film and Television.
Who am I?
"The Gendarme Gets Married"?
Helen Mirren.
-"The Last Station". Shot here. -I don't watch movies!
Shot here?
Yeah, she comes around this corner, and who does she meet?
Leo Tolstoy, "War and Peace."
Feel like going for a spin? Shall we take out the Porsche?
Porsche?
-I have a test track. -What don't you have?
-What? -What don't you have?
Shall we?
Clutch has to go forward.
Brake. Gas. Clutch.
Slow.
Yes.
Uwe!
Why are the workers here on the weekend?
-Stefan and I are having an affair. -What?
We've been meeting every Friday for four months.
What?
What is it?
Stop laughing.
Is it a joke?
-I missed it entirely. -Say something, Stefan!
-Wonderful. -What did you say?
I said we've been having an affair for four months every Friday!
The shit she comes up with!
That's not true.
It's not true!
Stefan, come here and clear this up! It's not true, is it?
Alright, let's all make up now! Why did you make up this nonsense, Maja?
Clear this up now.
Say something, Stefan!
What? Say something.
I'm sorry, Uwe.
Yeah. Shit!
Say something!
Shit!
You know what's so stupid?
I'm asking you... You say no, but I feel the lie.
And now I'm the idiot.
I tell myself I'm imagining it, because I can't forgive.
Bullshit.
CHAPTER 4: OPPORTUNITY
We made a promise once:
Where you go, I go.
In good times and in bad.
And...
what will we do now?
I don't know if we'll make it.
I mean us, the two of us.
I don't know if we're ready. We've been together for three, almost four months.
-Yes, four beautiful months. -And it might be a beautiful year...
But you never know what's coming...
What's that supposed to mean? Are you breaking up with me?
No.
I want to be with you! That's it.
I feel that right now and I will feel it in ten years.
I don't think you can say that.
I'm not just saying it, I feel it.
If you don't know how long we'll be together,
then why are we together?
Whose dopey idea were these interviews?
-Mine and Birgit's. -What for?
The opportunity to apologize to me in front on camera.
-Why should I apologize to you? -I don't know.
-I can apologize to everyone... -Wait. I have to think a sec.
What could you apologize for?
Wait.
-Can't think of it either. -Do you think...
Wasn't just me, right?
Shit.
I would like you to pack your things and leave.
-Leave! -Maja, just stay here please.
Are you off your rocker?
You have a beautiful wife, but you're fucking mine!
Call Roadside Assistance.
-That costs 120 euro a year! -Who cares!
The damn car won't start!
If I didn't treat you well...
What are you doing?
Birgit.
Birgit, where are you going?
I do feel there is something between us. But I can't find it.
Is there something?
I've been wondering that for a long time.
-Not now, in any case. -No.
I'll leave you two alone...
to talk.
I'm going to look for Birgit.
You're the type of guy who can make a woman really furious.
You know, the super nice, great guy.
And I've had it up to here!
-Tell me. -What's there to tell?
Why are you so furious?
Cause you're a wimp.
You can't even ask a question. Can't ask straight-out what's going on.
I was a coward, I admit it.
Yes.
But there's a lot of baggage. You burst out with it. Not me!
-Then say something against it. -I was totally overwhelmed, sorry.
-I can't change the situation. -You don't need to.
That's what makes me angry. That you can't tell the truth.
That you're pissed off. Or whatever you are!
I have no idea who you are...
Can you give me a lift?
Sorry, it's a misunderstanding.
-Let me... -Just drive on.
Get out of here.
Sorry.
What are you sorry about?
That my husband did that.
-You don't have to be sorry. -But I am. It's crap.
Well, I'm sorry my wife did that.
Oh, your wife...
I'm sure it was her first time.
I have the feeling everything's still intact with you two.
It's different with me.
-Yeah, everything's intact. -Sure, it's crappy...
but you can go through it once and forgive.
But I can't forgive it at all. But that's not the point...
Well, it's not the first time for Stefan and me.
It's the feeling that Stefan doesn't know me anymore.
I don't know what I'm doing here.
I feel alone all the time. I am alone all the time.
I can't do it anymore.
I don't want to do it anymore.
And what shall we do now?
What's this?
Know what I used to do? Elevator repairs.
Until three years ago. Up and down.
At Potsdamer Platz we built the fastest elevator in Europe.
22 floors in 19 seconds.
-Really? -Yeah.
And why don't you do it anymore? Sounds like you enjoyed it...
I did, but I got laid off, from one day to the next.
Then I started putting up billboards with Mario.
Walls of buildings, construction site fences.
My favorites are the really huge ones.
When you drive away and say, "Hey, I did that".
Maybe like with your paintings.
It's nice when you laugh.
But you don't believe me.
It's the first time I see you laughing.
You didn't look very closely.
I've been here for two days...
the whole time waiting for a little smile.
You know what Stefan told me?
That you haven't slept together for two years.
Where do you get your sexuality?
Don't.
-Sorry. -Doesn't matter.
I'm just the bill poster.
Now you have to say: "Aw, feeling sorry for yourself."
-Yeah, really. -Hey, let's take the Porsche for a spin.
Let's change lives?
Great house, great company, great wife.
You can take care of all this shit!
I saw through this as soon as I walked in here.
You saw through nothing.
-No, I didn't. -No you didn't, not at all.
It is how it is.
Ah, who's down now?
Shall we gouge each other's eyes out, or what do you have in mind?
No, you could apologize to me now.
You could also apologize to Birgit.
Are you gonna look for someone else to cheat on your wife with?
No, not right now.
How often have you done it?
Twice.
I don't believe you.
I had no time to do it before.
CHAPTER 5: FAMILY
Morning.
Birgit and I made a decision...
We'll play a game.
We'll take interviews with Nico's camera.
It's an opportunity to be honest with each other.
We ask each other questions and simply answer them honestly.
-That's silly. -Of course it's silly!
-I'm not participating. -Sure, you participate in other things.
I'll take a dump and we'll do this thing.
Why did you do it?
It was a coincidence.
What kind of coincidence?
You always say everything is fate.
Why do you do it?
I have no idea.
It wasn't directed against you.
-Shall we get divorced now? -No.
If there's anything I can do, I'll do it right away.
I can't trust you anymore.
I don't think it will happen again.
And...
what will you do now?
Continue? You with Maja.
And I should accept it?
One can do that...
That would be nice, right?
No.
It's all way too much.
I don't understand. Are you afraid? Or can't you express it?
I don't know. Couldn't we just sell all this?
And what do you expect of that?
What will you feel when it's sold?
Maybe I'll start to feel at all!
So your wish is to feel?
Yes.
-That's an answer, isn't it? -Yeah.
Well...
We made a promise once.
Where you go, I go. In good and in bad times.
I didn't do it on my own, right?
I don't even know you. I have nothing against you.
You're basically a great guy. It was even a fun weekend.
Yeah, but I'm really sorry...
You think I feel good about this situation and Birgit?
All this shit.
I'm really sorry.
I know that.
Because I know after two days if someone is alright.
I'm not stupid.
And when I say your wife may be sad, I mean no offence!
You talked about that family therapy once.
-Maybe we could do that. -That would be nice.
What a shitty weekend that was!
-Where are the kids, by the way? -No idea.
But this has nothing to do with me.
Well, come on, it's all pretty clear now.
The kids won't stay together for good.
So, I'd suggest we go separate ways!
As if I had any clue that he was married to you!
...but I didn't know all that.
Good morning.
Mama, Papa, Stefan, Birgit.
I'm pregnant.
ONE YEAR LATER...
Who's that?
Look into the camera.
That's Charlotte.
Hello.
Look, your grandparents are watching!
Grandma and Grandpa.
Okay, she's sleeping.
-Hi Mom, hi Dad. -Hi Dad, hi Mom.
We decided to send you a video message.
Because you rarely visit us!
Rarely? More like never!
So we unpacked my video camera.
And strangely enough, the memory card was full.
So we watched the footage.
It was a bit of a shock.
Because we were unaware of any of that.
And to learn about all that, by video...
Who with whom, when and why....
It took us a while to figure out the whole situation.
-But anyhow... -We were glad that it wasn't a porno!
Yes, definitely.
We learned a lot from it,
which is why we uploaded the material to YouTube.
So others can learn from it.
It's important to share this kind of thing.
-That's all we wanted to say. -Thanks for your honesty.
Please, be kind to each other and talk to each other.
Ciao.